It’s a question asked by many…. and those that share the experience will probably all have their own way of explaining how they know …. This is a little of mine……

I describe in detail in the last chapter of my book (Chapter 24) what it felt like for me coming face to face when we first met. So you may want to read that as well. It was all this plus the recognition within my soul of his energy…That was the initial explosion feeling. Then it was knowing his voice, his face, his eyes and thinking where have we met before. However, the strongest energy that stood out the most above all was he was home for me, completely and utterly, he felt like home.  And I felt this unquestionable knowing he belonged in my house with me, it was quite bizarre like my soul was showing me something so profound. It actually felt extremely out of alignment when he would leave, and I struggled to figure out why I felt this. I guess it was somewhat confusing because I was trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I talked in my book about feeling I had a missing piece my whole life, and what I was feeling and knowing in my soul, was that he was it. I knew without a doubt. He felt like my perfect match.

I had no recollection of Twin Flames /Twin Souls (any label you want to give these one soul connections) at this time. I had only heard of soul mates, but even then, I knew it was different. I now see I was being prepared when young for when I would meet him in this physical world. Yet, it took me a little while to piece it all together. It was like a million lightning bolts for me that I was trying to keep secret, until I figured it out. Maybe I should have just allowed my heart to step up and relax, instead of using logic and ego.  Then my ego and soul started the dance. For all the times my ego tried to step in to derail me, my soul was stronger with the knowing.  I still ran though, from the intense feeling of this love, out of fear, and I did that on and off for some time.

Why do we run, we run because we know, we know the truth, we are running from ourselves in truth, but I didn’t know that at the time either. I just had a deep soul knowing that we were one. And that he could see right through me from the inside out.  It scared me to feel that someone knew me better than I knew myself, and looking into his eyes was beyond beautiful but so dynamic. I had to turn away, he would stare at me and hold his stare but I couldn’t, it was so intense. Looking into his eyes was seeing his beauty, his light which was amazing but it also showed me my soul and all my unhealed wounds inside. ( Many call this our shadow side or our darkness). I was facing myself full on and everything was coming up for me. When I looked into his eyes, I felt him read me so nakedly where there was nowhere to hide. I had hid my true self from many my whole life, now I had nowhere to hide any part of myself. It was raw and open and I would freeze a lot not to know what to do. I tried to shut myself down and hide my heart and I used to jump into my masculine energy a lot to cover up. I mostly defaulted to my masculine energy (like a lot of women) when I didn’t want to expose or reveal my vulnerability. I thought this was working for a while, mind you I didn’t really have a full awareness that I was doing this, as I had done this most of my life. It wasn’t until years later I realized he still saw everything. At the same time my heart and soul were trying to guide me, but I wasn’t really listening - Out of fear. I’d never loved another so deep, felt another so deep and I’d never felt a love like this before. To share an energy (soul) with another is exclusive so you feel it within. It’s not a soul connection where you are just vibrating at the same frequency, and it invites a person in, like most talk about. This was different and I knew in my soul not many people had this.

It was pure …and for us to be experiencing anything other than our pure soul was painful for me.

I can write about a million different things I remember from our times together over the years that kept showing me and validating how I knew, which was lovely, but even without those things, honestly you just know. And as much as all those are amazing, insightful, and incredible -   the true way to know is what you feel. Feeling is the language of the Soul. What you feel deep in your heart and what your soul recognizes.

When people used to say to me they weren’t sure if someone was their true twin I couldn’t understand that, I’m not saying it may not be different for another, I’m not here to judge. However, I’m inclined to say if you have to ask then it’s possibly a ‘no’-  or can be that you are in ego and fear of going deeper into yourself. But for me, there was never any question; I just didn’t understand the concept of what was going on or how to process it. I was trying to figure it out from a “conditioned” 3D relationship, but that wasn’t working either. Of course when I found out about twins I could understand why that didn’t work. I was pretty clueless though at how to navigate the love, because I wasn’t being my authentic self.

Even after reading and hearing many others talk about these connections I still felt ours was different, and in 2015 I felt I had ascended enough in my inner growth to ask my higher to reveal the truth of exactly who we are, as I already knew we resided in the higher angelic realms. I had remembered. This is when our higher divine crew (from Christ consciousness source light) the divine beings that were contracted to help us on our path of mission showed me exactly who we were, and why I felt we were a little different to some others talking about this love. This is when I was shown through visual and diagram that I drew, (I can’t draw for nuts but my soul took over my hand to draw and I just provided the tool) I drew the complete creation of souls from God consciousness energy and where twins fit in. This is when I was told we were originals from the highest soul group and that there were 12 original pairs here on earth. I was then shown why it feels different. I won’t get into it here as it’s quite long but maybe for another blog. And maybe this is why I had such a deep knowing within.

Your soul/spirit is energy -  that energy is also in them, your soul is in you and in them as the masculine and feminine. The electric and magnetic. Despite the science of all this, which I had no idea about, despite anything you read or listen too.  The way you truly know is this deep soul love and recognition. A connection yes, but I even feel for me it’s deeper than a connection, because the word connection for me represents a connection to a part that is not within you. Something that is separate from you, and for me it felt like he was already in me, it wasn’t something I had to connect to, if that makes sense.  

I had never thought about telepathy with another human, I had it growing up with him in spirit I guess you could say, but never had experienced it with another, until I met him. Then suddenly I was hearing his voice in my head whether we were together or not.  I could stand in front of him and  have a conversation by telepathy without even speaking. This was my experience, im not sure if it was his, but I could hear him speaking to me in his head before he spoke the words (or even if he didn’t speak the words) then he would look at me like he knew I understood what he was saying. It’s very interesting, and sometimes I already answered what I knew he was going to ask. Even in our ego this was happening, so imagine if we weren’t. I saw the beautiful love and divine being of light he was, that we couldn’t see in ourselves. I noticed as time went on we had loads of similarities in many different ways. Then there was the talking for hours feeling like time stood still.

When he spoke my body felt like it was vibrating to his tone, his sound, that frequency, same with his touch, our eyes to the soul, feeling each other through our soul.  Again, I could go on with many different physical ways this played out, but underneath all that – the knowing is through feeling. Not your head.  It was an innate knowing of the deepest level for me. Which is why it was so intense – so magically beautiful - but intense. And I did let my ego take over many times blocking my heart unconsciously out of fear. Fear of knowing he could see me in every way.  Ways I didn’t want to face myself.  

Never did I ever wish to not be on this journey as difficult as it has been at times. In my deepest darkness I still saw a shining light that was he; he was my light that lead me out of my darkness. Many get lost in the theory twins are only here to heal each other and not necessary union, but that’s just the first steps, the ultimate is a grander picture that most don’t understand because they are still fighting their ego and deeper fears.  There is no one else in this physical world with you that can heal you in every way, and love you like your divine other, they are you. I can’t really explain it in more simple terms but honestly some people really have a hard time understanding this. When you understand your soul is energy, in two different forms of a physical body you get the deeper picture.

When it comes to how it feels being together, people write about feeling totally relaxed, transparent and in their truth when you are together in physical. Well for me it felt a bit like I was in a trance of combination complete bliss, transparency and pure heaven, also coupled with fear and sometimes intense uncomfortableness, because he was mirroring my darkness. And as yet I hadn’t healed that. So those times he was reflecting parts of me that I had not then healed it raised my ego. I would say most of the time he was more vulnerable and open and I could see he was awakened and intuitive, very wise. So it did trigger my unconscious wounds and awareness.  Yet, despite this I didn’t want to leave or run whilst this happened. I was prepared to stay and work through it with him. I always ran when we were not together physically, but for me when we were face to face I would of stayed forever. Yes, as uncomfortable as it was knowing he was looking into my soul seeing all my fears, insecurities, flaws and ego responses yet, I yearned to open my heart to him in those moments, I yearned for our deep and meaningful conversations, and on these occasions where I had an awareness - I was able to share myself. Other times I didn’t have the awareness that I was shut down or that my heart wasn’t open to receiving him. I was crippled in fear of showing my true self to him for fear of rejection which I know many of us feminine have these core wounds. I was afraid to be vulnerable and transparent. I thought if he didn’t like what he saw he wouldn’t come back.  It was a fear of losing him after us finding each other. And at that point I hadn’t gone deeper into my self-love to fill myself up first, to unconditional love, so fears still did creep in.

Could I lie down on the bed and just be raw, open, blurt out all my feelings, share my deep love for him?  Say things like ‘ I don’t know what’s happening here but my soul is walking this path with you. Could I share my inner deepest feelings about us, as much as I wanted to – I never did, I was too afraid. Could I share my intimate deepest moments or feelings of other things that had happened in my life, absolutely. But to look into his eyes and tell him how much I loved him was also looking into my eyes and telling myself how much I loved me – and I didn’t – love me I mean – so I couldn’t do it.  I learned later to love myself and then discovered not loving myself was the root of all my darkness – not loving or choosing myself on the deepest of levels. Choosing my soul over everything else, choosing my light and power, my divine essence, my authentic self. 

There were about a million times I wanted to look into his eyes and tell him how I felt, but every time I was stunned by his beauty and love, and fear took over.

Why was it so hard, because I didn’t love myself.  When you’re still running old programs of unworthiness, lack of self-love, fears, self-doubt, shame, guilt, those old programs keep you in loops holding us back.  

However, there were times I could expose myself more being transparent and part of those was during our beautiful sexual times. Intimacy to me felt like his energy took over and navigated the magic, and it happened naturally.  Everything opened within us as we shared ourselves more vulnerable than ever. I trusted him completely with every part of my sacred body and soul. Our hearts took the driver’s seat in those moments. There’s something about being naked in body that opens up being naked in soul when you are connected in this magical love aligned with your soul. It’s like you can look at each other in those moments, in each other’s eyes and not lie, run, fear, or be in ego, but your heart takes over and in an instant there is no denial, there is nothing but pure bliss. You open your heart to the love.

They say a woman during sex not only opens her body but she opens herself more vulnerable in ways the man may not realize. I personally think (as a woman) this depends on the connection and love the two have between them. I’ve seen many women (including myself) that are in their masculine energy and not open at all whilst men can be in their feminine and feeling from the soul. For me, this was when I could open myself more vulnerable and release any fear. I could fully let myself go.  If the masculine is in alignment with his soul, his heart and the love he will feel her, feel her every move, breathe, touch, her energy flowing through her, and he will feel her inside during her ecstasy bliss. He will be guided by her energy not her words, and if he’s open and sensitive to feeling her at his deepest heart core, he will help her to feel herself deeper than she’s ever felt before. And within these soul connections this goes deeper. As their chakras (energy portal points) and soul are aligned. With Twins their chakras are connected.

This is sacred sexuality, and between the divine pair this will be felt on the deepest levels. The deeper you find yourself the deeper you will find and feel your divine counterpart. The deeper you allow that love to penetrate every cell of your being in pure unconditional love, pure bliss, pure transparency, truth and opening your body, your mind, your heart and your soul to each other.

When people ask me how do you know he is your soul partner, I find myself saying “you just know” because to fully explain something that is not felt by most in this human world is impossible.  This love doesn’t match any human structured words, how do you express divine pure love, unless you have the privilege to feel it yourself, you most likely won’t understand.   

much love on this sacred journey beautiful souls

Kellie xx